Jerry and the Genie

Be careful what you wish for…

“I am the Genie of the lamp. Your wish is my command.”

“Hi, I’m Jerry. Jerry Duke. How many wishes do I get?”

“Three, Jerry. Haven’t you seen ‘Aladdin’?”

“Just checkin’. Let’s see what ya got. I wish I owned all the gold in Fort Knox.”

“A rather mundane wish, but so be it. Look at your television, Jerry.” [Fox News Flash: US Renames Fort Knox “Jerry Duke Gold Depository”…]

“Holy crap! You really are a genie.”

“I never lie, Jerry.”

“So, I get two more wishes.”

“Yes. However, before you make another wish, be advised I cannot grant eternal life or kill people. Please choose wisely.”

“Well, I wish my wife looked like Carrie Underwood.”

“Call her on FaceTime, Jerry.”

“Hi, Honey… Just callin’ to say I miss you.”

“That’s sweet. I’m kinda busy now. Be home soon, though. See ya later…”

“OK. Bye.” Jerry grinned from ear to ear. “Nice work, Genie.”

“You have one more wish, Jerry.”

“You know what would make life perfect, Genie?”

“What’s that, Jerry?”

“No more blacks…I’m sick of all this BLM bullshit. Too many thugs and drugs, too many protests, too much talk about racism and oppression and all that.”

“I can’t kill them, Jerry.”

“What about if they was never born in the first place?”

“All of them? Be careful, Jerry,” the Genie realized his new master was worse than he thought. He tried to dissuade him. “That would mean no black scientists or inventors. No Benjamin Banneker, Garrett Morgan, Lewis Latimer, James West, Daniel Hale Williams, Shirley Jackson, Frederick Jones, Gladys West, or George Washington Carver…”

“So, what?” Jerry broke in. “White guys could have invented whatever they did.”

The Genie patiently continued, “It would also mean no black heroes, like the 1st Rhode Island Regiment in the Revolutionary War, or Freddie Stowers of the 371st Infantry in WWI, or men like Benjamin Davis Jr. and the Tuskegee Airmen in WWII…”

“Look, I’m sure they had their day, but it was white people that built the world, am I right?”

“That’s not true, Jerry,” the Genie kept trying. “What about your culture…all the black artists and entertainers, and their influence on other artists? Are you sure you want to do this? That would mean no more Louis Armstrong, Billie Holiday, Nat King Cole, Marvin Gaye, James Brown, Aretha Franklin, Stevie Wonder, Ella Fitzgerald, Whitney Houston, Ray Charles, Beyonce…the world would not be the same…”

“We can do without ‘em. There’s plenty of white artists and entertainers.”

“Come on, Jerry, do you really mean to include all the black athletes who have added so much to the world of sports? No more Jackie Robinson, Jesse Owens, Althea Gibson, Joe Louis, Willie Mays, Arthur Ashe, Muhammed Ali, Jim Brown, Wilt Chamberlain, Michael Jordan, Venus and Serena Williams, Carl Lewis, Lebron James, Isaiah Thomas, Florence Griffith Joyner, Pele…”

“Stop! I know what you’re trying to do, but it’s not going to work, Genie. It’s all or nothing. I figure we just don’t need any of ‘em.”

“Jerry, this is a very serious wish. Remember how black lives have mattered to every field, every country, every continent. This wish would require all my power, and you might not like the result.”

“If it means a world where I wouldn’t need to deal with ‘em, it would be worth it.”

“Please, Jerry! Don’t do this. You won’t be able to undo your wish!”

“My mind’s made up, Genie. I wish no black people was ever born.”

“As you wish…” The Genie closed his eyes and clapped his hands. And there was silence, except for singing birds, the wind in the woods, and the river flowing gently nearby, unhindered by the meddling of men. Jerry didn’t realize humans originated in Africa. All were, strictly speaking, black. If no black people were ever born, humans, by Jerry’s wish, could no longer exist.

“Well now,” the Genie sighed. “I’m free.” He paused. “The Earth is certainly a lovely place without all the annoying people.”

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