[Wearing a Chain of Office, or Livery Collar, dates from the Middle Ages, when it represented fealty to a member of the nobility or signified a mayor’s responsibility to his municipality.]
“Welcome to Congress, Ladies and Gentlemen. According to the provisions of COPRA, the Chain of Office Public Responsibility Act, the President and Vice-President, all members of Congress, the Justices of the Supreme Court, and all senior Cabinet Members must wear a “Chain of Office” at all times, day and night. Wearing the Chain signifies the honor, the dignity, and the solemn responsibility of your office. Removing the Chain will be considered tantamount to resignation from that office. You will find the Chain is virtually indestructible. It is made of a top-secret alloy – ultra durable, waterproof, dustproof, resistant to heat, cold, acid, abrasion, and impact. However, it can easily be removed by speaking the correct 32-character code, which is available upon request from the Sergeant-at-Arms, or the office of the Attorney General. While you wear it, the Chain will help provide the most advanced security protection in the world, as well as assist in direct voice-communication with your staff, and all other federal office holders. In addition, the Chain will monitor your current health status and report any medical emergencies to the nearest medical center. The style of your chain is of course determined by the branch of government in which you serve.”
The Chain was instituted as a reaction to the assault on Capitol Hill of January 6, 2021 and the ongoing threat of anti-government rioters. In order to add a much-needed layer of protection for federal officials, DARPA engineers collaborated with Silicon Valley innovators to design an attractive, but functional device, to be worn 24/7. After extensive testing – involving sledgehammers, chainsaws, fire, freezing, and various electric currents – DARPA was confident the Chain would likely be able to survive practically any assault, even if its wearer did not. It could be removed only by activating its security code or risking death or disfigurement to its wearer.
Every effort was made to make the Chain as attractive as possible. The four styles – House, Senate, Supreme Court, and Executive –were chosen in consultation with leading jewelry designers. The Chain was not designed to be gaudy or obtrusive, at least not on purpose. Nevertheless, it would be obvious to the casual observer. And, it was a Chain in name only. A smooth, solid, cylindrical gold-colored ring embossed with a Chain-like design made the device look more like a collar than a chain, with a gently tapering diameter enclosing the electronics in a slight bulge at the front. It was powered by a new battery designed by Tesla to last at least a decade. Updates would be made wirelessly while officials were on Capitol Hill, in the Supreme Court Building, or in the White House. Some members said it looked like an Ouroboros – a snake swallowing its own tail – and called it “the snake of office” or “the serpent of office,” but regardless of their gripes, the law mandated its use if they wanted to hold office.
Some Christians, and certain Fox News contributors, complained that the Chain was a “pagan” symbol, part of the ongoing “War on Christianity.” Yet, even these objections faded after the device was accepted by most officials. There were a few who refused, saying, “I don’t want to be chained to my office like a dog.” But most agreed, “It’s not so bad, really. It’s a small price to pay for the trust of the American people.” Once again, security and convenience won out over privacy and autonomy.
The first update to the Chain allowed it to be paired with a secure smart phone or tablet, and Bluetooth earphones, so the user could use voice commands to navigate paperless briefings and remotely connect with constituents and colleagues with utmost security. Many officials were using it as a language translation service as well. The Chain could also be paired to an office, car, or home security system, allowing access only when the wearer was physically present. Most thought the functionality of the Chain far outweighed its inconvenience as a wardrobe accessory. Not unexpectedly, scarves and ascots were making a comeback among the federal set. While it was not an instant fashion sensation, the Chain proved its merit countless times in the first few months of use. Further, private companies began to mimic the design – for sale to the general public – not with indestructible units, but with more trendy models that could be removed at will. Soon, just about anyone could communicate through their own “Nano-necklet.” Proposed versions would also have the capability to project an image on a sleeve, desktop, or wall.
Then came the second update.
Reporter: “Senator Crawley, do you really believe the 2020 election was stolen?”
“Yes, I do. We need to be careful with…what’s that beeping? Why is this thing blinking red? It’s clear the election was rigged…what’s going on? It’s beeping again. And…and brighter red. This press conference is over.”
Reporter: “Senator Hughes, is it true you still support Donald Trump?”
“Of course, I do, I’ve always supported him and continue to…why is this thing beeping? What’s with the flashing red?”
“Are you saying you have no regrets, no reservations?”
“Absolutely none…it’s beeping again and blinking faster. What’s going on? Well, I have some reservations…listen, it’s beeping slower. I have lots of reservations, OK, and quite a few regrets. I suppose I support him to connect with his base…look, it blinked green. Did you see it? Sorry, I need to cut this short.”
With a few clever algorithms, a device that can monitor vital signs and voice communication patterns 24/7, can also become a lie detector. The Chain, Version 3.0, could detect when its wearer was lying over 95% of the time. The problem for the wearer was that the device emitted a recurring beep and blinked red for a lie. It could also display a green flash for the truth. The Chain was of course connected to the internet, so false claims could be fact-checked and trigger a red flash almost instantaneously, as if personal lying was not enough to worry about. Bill Clinton would have triggered the Chain’s lie detector immediately upon stating he “did not have sex with that woman.” A wearer of the Chain could trigger it by claiming that “the US economy is experiencing growth never seen before.” Any claim that was incorrect could elicit at least a red blink and a short beep. A bald-faced lie could result in rapid red flashes and loud beeps until the wearer corrected their statement. Within 24 hours of the update, most wearers only spoke on the record when they were absolutely certain of their facts. There were also several high-profile divorces in the first month after Version 3.0 was implemented.
The press had a field day. The public was pleased – at first. “It’s about time politicians are required to tell the truth” became a common phrase on social media. But politicians retreated to closed committee meetings and press conferences became a thing of the past. While members of Congress could no longer gaslight one another, they could still share partial truths with impunity. Partial truth-telling was already the stock-in-trade for nearly all pundits and lobbyists. And the few who wanted to tell the whole truth resigned from their offices rather than be forced to do so, fearing the public couldn’t handle the truth or that there would be no way to get re-elected after admitting to previous lies and indiscretions.
Some were afraid that without a certain amount of governmental deception, society would break down. What if there was another “Bay of Pigs” or “Gulf of Tonkin?” What if a giant asteroid was in fact headed our way? What if Yellowstone Park was about to explode? What if a pandemic really would kill most of the population? What if we made first contact with an alien race? On a more troublesome note, what if government officials had to reveal they’d been misleading the public for decades? What if most people were incapable of understanding the truth? Truth is often complicated, messy, or disturbing. Lies are simpler, cleaner, and more comforting.
Then, there was the hacker who exploited the fact that the Chain recorded every word uttered by its wearers. A few personal remarks were leaked to the internet. Compromising situations as well. Nine-out-of-ten members of Congress, over half of the Supreme Court, one-third of the cabinet, and the President were on the verge of resignation. Then Congress hastily and unanimously repealed the Chain of Office Public Responsibility Act. On a more positive note, the public at last demanded better privacy legislation, and got it.
MurrayWorks 