For Father’s Day, here are some of my dad’s best remarks. Dad is 95 and I doubt he would remember saying most of these, but somehow, they have a way of resurfacing in my mind, usually at odd moments. I believe most fathers and father figures have said similar things to pass along what they have learned to their children. And like many ancient philosophers, I believe good character requires good upbringing. “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” [Proverbs 22:6, KJV] I hope my readers might recognize some of their upbringing in these words.
If they have to know right away, the answer is always, “no.” It’s important to take time to think about your decisions. Don’t let anyone rush you into a snap judgement you might regret.
Don’t make yourself stupid. Said after I read too much into a math problem. Sometimes we can make problems needlessly complicated. When tackling any problem, it’s wise to look for the essentials. Today, we call this, overthinking.
Don’t be a tattletale. In other words, don’t tell tales just to gain favor or make others look bad. Learn to think for yourself, and handle problems on your own. There is a Biblical principle: “Moreover, if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.” [Matthew 18:15 KJV] The honest way to handle disputes is to settle them with the person who offended you, rather than go behind their back to someone else.
It doesn’t matter who started it. Just stop it. Said when the three of us were fighting over something insignificant. It’s good advice. Sometimes we all need to “just stop it” rather than continue to argue, rationalize, or equivocate.
Who do I need to talk to? Said when a problem was not being addressed adequately. Generally speaking, we shouldn’t believe the first thing we are told – about anything.
If you can’t do it, please recommend someone who can. Said when service was not provided as promised. Usually there are other options, and sometimes we can convince people to do what they told us they would do. I’ve used variations of this statement with good results.
Do you know why it didn’t go well? Said after a disappointing test or musical performance. It’s important to know what went wrong and why – lack of preparation or concentration, unforeseen circumstances, unexpected difficulties, etc. – rather than just blame the results on others. We all need to accept responsibility for our choices.
Some people think good thoughts, just not in a good order. We should listen for good thoughts and not be quick to dismiss what others have to say.
Take care of the easy stuff first. Many people forget that productivity means getting stuff done. Sometimes more difficult tasks take more time and if we allow them to take up most of our time, very little will get done.
Keep your eye on the ball. Said about golf, baseball, and other sports. It’s true for life in general. We all need to focus on what’s most important.
If you want a beer, just ask me. Don’t sneak around and get into trouble. Said when I was in my early teens. My reaction was to lose interest in drinking because my dad didn’t make a big deal out of it.
Don’t just sit (stand) there. Do something. Said whenever someone needed help. We all need to be better at lending a helping hand rather than expecting someone else to step up.
If you’ve already made up your mind, then why are you asking me? Said whenever one of us ignored his advice. Dad had a low tolerance for people who ask for advice as a mere formality. I carried his attitude into my career – I mentally left the room whenever the administration asked for faculty and staff input after the decision had already been made.
If we’ve always done it that way, it’s time to question it. Tradition or convention should not be our only justification. We need to ask whether there is a better way.
Don’t complain unless you have a solution to offer. Said many times. Whining and complaining can’t fix anything. These are lazy attempts to get someone else to solve a problem for us.
Do your job well and the next opportunity will come. Said to encourage me to keep working. Unless you are related to the boss, you must prove yourself.
Don’t talk back to your mother. If you do, there will be consequences. Understood.
Don’t take things for granted. Say “please,” “thank you,” and “I’m sorry.”
The following need no explanation:
If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
If you can’t think of anything good to say about someone, don’t say anything.
Treat your education like a job. Show up for class and do the work.
Be a good thinker and communicator.
Whatever you do, work hard.
Let your work speak for itself.
Be someone people look up to.
Stay away from troublemakers.
Speak up.
Keep your word.
Stand up straight.
Tuck-in your shirt.
Get a haircut.
MurrayWorks 