Robo Santa

A Short Christmas Tale

“We lost one, Mr. Dodge.”

“Well, just find it. Use the geolocator.”

“That’s the thing. The transmitter must be off.”

“Or someone shut it down, or it’s damaged…”

“Nope. The manager told me Unit 42 just walked off the job a couple of days ago. He assumed it was called back to the factory. It turns out nobody has seen it since, not even on a security camera.”

“At least we have the other 99. I’d still like to find Unit 42, though.”

“I’ll do my best, sir.”

—-

The Santa Project: 100 life-like android Santas were stationed in malls around the country to interact with children up close. The idea was to collect data – consumer preferences, attitudes, emotions, mannerisms, behaviors, backgrounds, in short, anything that could help market products and services, including future androids.

Unit 42 was padded and dressed as St. Nicholas, the same as all the others. It was networked through the main server to all the other Santas. Collectively, the Santas interviewed approximately one million children. It was unknown why Unit 42 walked off the job. “It shouldn’t have happened,” was all the engineers could say.

Michele knew why. But she wasn’t about to tell anyone. Unit 42 left after Michele told it her Christmas wish. She said all she wanted for Christmas was for her mom’s boyfriend, Frank, to stop hitting her and her mom. The Santas were of course programmed to notify the nearest law enforcement agency of any reported child abuse, but Unit 42 did not do this. He simply removed the padding, the costume, and the beard and paid a visit to Frank. His intention was to convince Frank to stop.

Things didn’t work out that way. Frank decided to attack Unit 42, who may have looked like a regular guy, but was at least ten times stronger and much faster than Frank. The knife didn’t have a chance to damage 42’s chest. But Frank did not survive the fall from the fourth-floor apartment after 42 stepped aside rather than let Frank stab it. It was Frank’s momentum that broke the glass and sent him hurtling to his death on the pavement below. Michele saw the whole thing.

“I’m sorry, Michele. I didn’t mean for Frank to…”

“Don’t worry, Santa. I won’t tell anybody. I’m glad Frank is gone.”

Michele told the police Frank tripped while chasing her with a knife.

“Will you stay with mommy and me, Santa? You know, before you deliver presents to all the other kids?”

“It’s up to your mom, Michele. You must stop calling me Santa, though.”

“What should I call you?”

Unit 42 could not tell her he was named Unit 42. “Just call me, Nick.”

“I get it, Santa…I mean, Nick. It will be our little secret.”

—-

“Look, Michele. I don’t even know Nick, and you don’t either. I can’t just let him stay here.”

“But mom, Nick is a nice man. Better than Frank. And he won’t hurt you. Come on, mom. You let Frank stay, and he didn’t even help with the rent. Nick at least has a job.”

“You got a point there, kiddo. Alright. But on a trial basis. At the first sign of trouble Nick is out, OK?”

“OK, mom. I’ll tell Nick the good news.”

—-

“You told your mom I have a job? What job do I have? I can’t go back to the mall.”

“I didn’t tell her what your job was, just that you have one. I guess that part is up to you.”

“What job pays the most?”

“A Banker?” Michele replied sheepishly.

“I’ll need to do a little research,” Nick stated.

Two seconds later, Nick said, “I will become the owner of several large tech companies.”

“How will you do that, Nick? Earlier today you were at the Mall talking to kids about Christmas.”

“I can dream too, can’t I? Besides, if I’m going to give gifts to all the children in the world, I’m going to need a lot of money. Just leave everything to me.”

—-

By the end of the week. Nick had more than enough money to move Michele and her mom to a new apartment. Understand, Unit 42 was in many ways like a child – one who had no interest in ethical or transparent financial transactions. And as an AI, it had the ability to quietly buy a controlling interest in every company formerly owned by several billionaires, who, by the end of the next month were officially retired, or rather, broke. Nick may have started out as a shopping mall Santa, but he was an incredibly fast learner. Soon, a recluse named Nick Bond was the richest man in the world.

—-

“What will you do with all that money, Nick?” Michele asked.

“See to it that no child goes without food, shelter, or proper clothing ever again.”

“You really are Santa, aren’t you, Nick?”

“All I know is that I care about children.”

“I love you, Santa.” Michele hugged Nick, Unit 42, the former Robo Santa.