In the middle of winter, someone crashed into one of the low brick walls that mark the entrance to the neighborhood. Significant damage was done, but nobody seemed to know anything about the accident. For a few months, I suspected that a snowplow had hit the wall, but the county office couldn’t confirm my conjecture. There was some talk around the neighborhood about raising money to repair the wall, because there is no HOA to simply assess funds.
Not long ago, we heard someone was collecting bricks from the broken wall. I can confirm that most of the debris was gone by the time we returned from a recent trip. We had no idea who this person was or whether there was any plan to repair the wall.
Yesterday, I met a man who cleared up the mystery of the broken wall. I saw him standing beside a pickup truck looking at the wall, so I introduced myself and asked whether he knew about any plans to fix it. It turns out that his granddaughter, inexperienced with driving on ice and snow, slid into the wall. Miraculously, she was not hurt, and her little car suffered only minor damage. J. told me he would be working on the wall and was just trying to get a final brick count before he started. He told me that he was going to repair the wall free of charge because someone in his family had damaged it. We then had a nice chat.
This encounter highlights an important concept. In a world where many people seem unable to accept responsibility for anything, J. is willing to make things right. Now, I haven’t seen any examples of his work, but his matter-of-fact acceptance of the task led me to believe he would do a good job. While a lot of people might have made excuses, he will do what he can. There is no better “insurance” than people who are willing to do the right thing.
We live in troubled times. Often, it’s hard to know how to react, what to do about all the uncertainty and division, how to deal with conflict and outrage. Yet, troubled times are common. Humanity has faced impending doom in one form or another for thousands of years. Some thought the world would end in the year 1000, so they waited on mountain tops for an event that didn’t happen. The Y2K bug didn’t end things either. We were close to nuclear annihilation in October 1962. I was 7 then and learned the story after the fact. The Black Plague didn’t end us in the 14th Century. Nor did the 100 Years War or the 30 Years War or the War to End All Wars, or even World War II. In fact, it can be argued that in times of trouble, many of us find ways to be heroes, to go on despite adversity. Literature and the arts have not stopped. Discovery has not stopped. Civilization has not stopped, although it has often teetered on the brink.
It seems to me, the reason humanity survives wars, pandemics, zealots, narcissists, and megalomaniacs is that certain ideals have remained constant: J’s plain-spoken sense of responsibility. Human kindness, compassion, generosity, forbearance, and respect. Faith in God and humanity. Hope for a better future. Love for family, friends, and neighbors, in the sense that everyone is our neighbor. Good work. Fairness. Honesty. Integrity. Ethical conduct. Self-discipline. Wisdom.
Once upon a time, I knew a man about whom friends and acquaintances said, “He would rather be staked out in a desert than make an inferior product.” We may have an abundance of scammers and grifters these days, people who only care about money or influence, but those who care about doing right by others are arguably the glue that holds society together. People who “do unto others” usually don’t need to rationalize or sensationalize their behavior. Their work and their relationships speak for themselves. They offer stability in what would otherwise be a chaotic existence. To live through troubled times, we need to look for the constants. Fred Rogers called them, “the helpers.”
When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping. – Fred Rogers
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