from: Bloodstone43956@i-mail.irs
to: Raventrap39996@i-mail.irs
date: 7518.48006
My Dear Raventrap ~
Your coworker, Snarkrachet, certainly has a way with words. I particularly like the phrase, “our little playthings,” to describe our clients ~ I’ve already claimed credit for it here at my Division. I have no doubt a demotion will be coming my way soon. Be that as it may, you’ve asked about the nature of hypocrisy and how to tempt your clients to it. Hypocrisy is in its broadest definition the mere pretense of having certain values, morals, ethics, and beliefs. It’s akin to bullshit in the sense that a hypocrite essentially does not care he is being a hypocrite. What matters most to a hypocrite is keeping up appearances and gaining whatever advantage he can. Remember, the little cheats find it easier to pay lip service to values, morals, ethics, and beliefs than to act on them. It’s always easier for them to appear to be moral than to actually be moral. This being the case, we have several avenues to pursue as we play the hypocrisy game.
First, we can subtly tempt our clients to adopt double standards. This tactic involves conning our little playthings into applying one standard to themselves, or their favored faction, and another to those who are not like them or their tribe. As you know, all kinds of double standards are at work here below, so why not on Earth as well? The “Jim Crow” era was a monument to my expertise in goading a great many little bigots to institutionalize second-class status for one group, while their group retained all the rights and privileges assumed to be “appropriate” for those with a lighter skin color. It’s too bad this hypocrisy was pointed out by a black human named, “King,” and several others, or this era could have lasted much longer. At any rate, the point is to secure special treatment for some while others are held accountable for the most trivial reasons. If you can make sure your clients are blind to this form of hypocrisy, they will naturally demand members of one group become twice as competent as members of another group to get the same opportunities and benefits.
Second, akin to double standards is our clients’ proclivity to point out or focus on insignificant errors made by someone else while neglecting their own major shortcomings. We call this “splinter and plank syndrome.” One old trick is to convince your clients that others must be “perfect” while they remain exempt from anything remotely close to this standard. Any relatively small mistake or misstep others might make can then become a huge affront or insult in their miniscule minds– a reason to question, distrust, or even hate them for everything they say or do, or might have said or done. It is certainly good sport to help them set their expectations of others hilariously high while setting their expectations of themselves ludicrously low. Thus, they can complain this or that was not the “perfect” vacation, birthday party, dinner, anniversary, meeting, decision, policy, and so on – and it was all someone else’s fault! At all costs, don’t let your clients ask the obvious questions: “Was my behavior somehow less than perfect?” or “Do I bear any responsibility for the way things turned out?” Our Competitor would have our little game pieces take care of their own problems first, and then nitpick with others, as if they could ever find the time to get around to it! Our Executive knows damned well if they started working to improve themselves, many of their disputes with others would simply evaporate. Well, we can’t have any of that!
Third, we also can’t afford to have our clients “let go” of a past injury or slight, even a perceived one. With only a tiny insinuation from one of us, they are easily persuaded to engage in a special kind of hypocrisy: they will continue to dwell on troubles caused by, or mistakes made by others; long after they’ve tried to make amends or perhaps have even been vindicated. By all means coach your clients to nurse “grudges” against one another, and prevent them from realizing they too have caused offence or harm, and also would prefer to have their apologies accepted and move on. “What’s His Name” constantly preaches forgiveness ~ of all detestable things ~ the exact opposite of what Our Executive desires. Holding on to bitterness is like taking a slow-acting medicine that will in time cure our clients of any attachment to Our Competitor.
Fourth, we can use the tried and true, “do as I say, not what I do” technique. We must not overlook this basic every day form of hypocrisy, in which the hypocrite tries to tell others what to do while doing whatever in Hell he wants to do. It might be as simple as advising others not to smoke, drink, or gamble, while all along the hypocrite really believes he can smoke, drink, or gamble with impunity. Hypocrisy is incredibly entertaining in the arena of sexual behavior and uproariously amusing when certain sales representatives of Our Competitor are caught in it. Over the centuries many of them have preached loudly about the virtues of “chastity” or “self-control” while carrying on salacious extra-marital affairs or engaging in garden-variety fornication. I have been able to keep the words, “practice what you preach,” out of the heads of many clients for decades at a time.
And if you can get your clients to substitute the words, “I’ll pray for you,” for actually doing something to help someone, this too is a form of hypocrisy. Again, it’s always easier to say something than do something, and it’s easier to say or do something for show, than to step up and do what really needs to be done.
Finally, one of the better human thinkers, Aristotle, defined injustice as taking a disproportionate share of gain or refusing to take a proportionate share of loss. A hypocrite stands ~ or most often sits ~ ready to claim what he is getting is fair, while others are only getting “what they deserve.” By all means, feed this assumption. As long as your little playthings believe disproportionate rewards and misery are “just,” they are well on the road to The Corporation. They must be led to believe out of necessity many must lose and only a few can win. They must conclude some humans really are worth thousands of times more than others and suffering is basically part of the deal. As long as our clients can “get theirs” why should they care about what others get?
Another devious ploy the COD has pursued recently is the shifting of risk from those who can afford it most to those who can afford it least. Some are now “too big to fail,” while others are forced to pay the cost of failure. A decidedly delectable version of this kind of hypocrisy can occur when we see to it those who caused the failure, through poor decisions, ignorance, or just plain laziness, are still rewarded with high salaries and bonuses, while those who were actually trying to do their jobs are “laid off.” The resulting feelings of resentment and especially insecurity are extremely useful to The Corporation. One day we will recoup the contracts of many who thought it was by some stretch of their imaginations “right” to prosper at the expense of others. Then, as we assert our rights of consumption, they will indeed learn the real meaning of the word, “proportionate.”
Your Devoted Cousin,
Bloodstone
MurrayWorks 