from: Bloodstone43956@i-mail.irs
to: Raventrap39996@i-mail.irs
date: 7518.03846
My Dear Raventrap ~
In your last I-mail
you told me you had accepted an appointment to the Tempters Subversion Agency
(TSA). This is a great opportunity, so don’t muck it up. Your Undervisor told
me in confidence this might be your last chance to prove yourself, so I’m
writing to offer a bit of advice. I understand the TSA serves to “sabotage,
twist, obscure, disrupt, and distort” all forms of communication between
humans. These are indeed ambitious goals, and they also happen to be among my
areas of expertise. In fact, I’ve been cited by the Director of Antagonism for
“excellence in extinguishing the meanings of commonly understood words” ~ low
praise indeed! Be that as it may, I think I might have a few pearls to cast in
your general direction.
Now, Raventrap, back in the day when I was ordered to accept my first major
appointment, I learned a few things about subverting human communications. The
most important of these is always to keep in mind Our Competitor wants all
human communication to be ~ if you’ll excuse my choice of words ~ honest, open,
fair, impartial, and beneficial, without guile, deception, or self-serving
hidden agendas ~ above all free of what our clients call, “bullshit.” This is the kind of talk with which the speaker tries to
make himself or his cause look good, often at the expense of others, without
regard to evidence, logic, decency, or fair play. Whenever humans engage in
bullshit, it brings them one step closer to Our Executive. He is, after all,
exalted as “The Father of Lies” for a reason. Our Competitor abhors bullshit
even as Our Executive embraces it. An outright lie can often be detected and
corrected, even “redeemed” ~ oh, how I hate that
word! On the other hand, bullshit is far more insidious ~ such a lovely word, insidious ~ because more often than not our
client essentially does not care
whether or not his statements are truth, half-truth, guesswork, innuendo,
slander, or complete fabrications, as long as they serve his interests or the
interests of his party or faction. You’ve no doubt heard of the “Red Scare” ~ what
a lot of bullshit! Since so much bullshit is composed of half-truths,
distortions, hearsay, and self-serving slogans, it is a valuable weapon against
Our Competitor.
Over the years, bullshit has brought many contracts to Our Executive, in fact more than even murder or war. You see, dear Raventrap, a little well-placed bullshit can lead humans to fear, hatred, anger, and violence. Both murder and war have often been founded on unmitigated bullshit.
Those who incite others to violence and retribution often do so without regard for the truth, or what Our Competitor calls “compassion” or “forbearance” ~ two principles we can surely do without. We have obtained a magnificent collection of politicians, propagandists, political pundits, party hacks, and even advertising men as a result of bullshit. If you can get your clients to disregard truth in favor of making themselves look good while making others look bad, you will have led them half-way to Hell.
As to sabotaging communication, the first step is to plant this idea: it’s obvious a certain individual or group has a right to “control the conversation.” Your task could be as simple as prompting a family to think it’s a good idea to “never speak of Uncle Ted,” who is now serving time in prison. This thought is beneficial to our side for at least two reasons. First, it absolves the family of any responsibility or charity towards Uncle Ted. Second, it leaves Uncle Ted on his own in a system rife with temptations. It’s a win-win for our side.
You need to do all you can to get your clients to look out for their own interests by “framing the debate.” This exercise is often quite entertaining. Get them to make statements to the effect that those who oppose them are “extremists,” even if their views are quite moderate or even conciliatory. Our Competitor likes compromise when it leads to “good will” and reconciliation. Whenever you sense compromise is about to resolve a disagreement, or honest and open communication is beginning to occur, immediately suggest any compromise represents “defeat” and the parties involved need to stand “on principle.” After all, as humans frequently assume, it’s a “fact” that their opponents are too “extreme” in their views, and are not to be tolerated, much less trusted. We need to fuel this assumption. Many potential agreements have been sabotaged in this way, many relationships have been strained to the breaking point, and many of our clients have been provoked to retaliate rather than “give in.” We have millions of clients here below who for centuries have been learning the real meaning of the word, “extreme.” What a delicious thought!
Here’s another amusing twist on instilling the desire to control the conversation: While the client doing the controlling often can’t see he is doing anything wrong, over time the client being controlled will lose all faith that he has any ability whatsoever to express himself freely. Any attempts to be honest can easily be suppressed when the individual who tries to tell the truth is quickly rebuffed by his controllers. All you need to do is whisper to your clients that so-and-so is a “trouble-maker” or a “loose cannon” for asking too many questions or pointing out a few mistakes, problems, or even alternatives.
A little self-righteousness is desirable as well. Let the controllers think the phrase, “We’ll just have to agree to disagree,” really means “I’m right and you’re wrong. My opinion is clearly superior. How dare you question me?” Those who are successful in controlling the conversation are always the last to know they’ve suppressed the expression of truth. The communication of both sides suffers, many are deprived of positive outcomes, trust breaks down, and if you play your cards right, pent-up hostility can lead to a total impasse or even full-scale conflict. Meanwhile the controllers will remain puzzled about “what went wrong” and the controlees will be crushed to the point of despair, which in itself is helpful to our side, and even better might be convinced to lash out in rage against those who for so long have controlled them. Riots and revolutions often have their roots in pent-up rage. These are indeed productive times for The Corporation!
Your Devoted Cousin,
Bloodstone
MurrayWorks 